After thoughts & Moving forward

After thoughts & Moving forward

So I have learned a lot from this experience and want to just let you all know what that is. I have had a lot of questions about how my body has felt and the overall effects that this has had on me physically. Overall, on this fast, I lost 7-8 pounds, which was great. While it was not my first goal to lose weight in this, it was definitely a desired side effect. I have been trying to lose weight for about 3 months now and had total lost 1.3 pounds before this. Stopping the sugar, caffeine, and processed food was definitely what I needed to give me motivation and to stop the cravings and not give into them. So this is the beginning of eating better and putting a stop the crazy way that I was eating before.

My sleep is the main thing that I have really enjoyed. I have had sleep issues for years now and, since stopping caffeine, I haven't had to take any sleeping meds (I usually use benedryl) once. So that has not only helped me feel better, but I haven't been tired during the day or had that slump mid-day at work that seemed to come with the caffeine and sugar intake. So, while I had a diet coke this morning, I think for the most part I am going to get off the caffeine. I just feel more awake and clear headed.

That is the other thing that I have noticed on this fast was how clear my thinking has been. I have been able to think a thought through and not get constantly distracted. I haven't walked into a room and forgotten what I was going in there for, and I haven't misplaced items nearly as much. I seriously haven't felt so much like myself since before having kids. I thought the sleep deprivation gave me some kind of brain damage, but it turned out it was putting all the crap in my system. I also have been more able to focus on my kids and my husband and really just be present a whole lot more.

One thing that did not go away for me was migraines and headaches. I had a headache everyday of this fast and some of the worst migraines ever. I think that this was mostly due to caffeine withdrawal  and the storms that have been here the last couple weeks. But I am glad that I did this, as I alway wrote them off saying that if I ate better, then they would go away. But apparently, there is something else going on that I need to see someone about, which is great information that I needed.

So, moving forward, overall with our diet, we are not going vegan but will be going mostly vegetarian (an occasional burger or something), I am giving up caffeine, drinking lots more water, we are going to be using more natural sweeteners, like honey instead of granulated sugar, and not eat as much processed foods. So yay!!!! I hope to be close to my goal weight by May as it is my best friends wedding and I would love to like the way I am looking by then.

Spiritually, this has been an amazing journey for my family. I have finally found out what Phillipians 4:13 means

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

While I have known this to be true in times of extreme difficulty that were outside my control - like when Chris got laid off, when Tate was in the hospital, or when close family members have died - I have never really taken it personally. He can strengthen me in every obstacle in my life and he wants to be a part of the big decisions and the little decisions. So when I want to eat the foods that were destroying my body, if I seek Him to strengthen me with that decision, He will.

I have also found 1 Corinthians 6:12 to be extremely pertinent to this fast and for me moving forward:

 "Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power."

While having a donut once in a while is fine, having one 5 times a week is not helpful for me. I had become a slave to Diet Coke and had not been able to stop drinking it for 20 years. While that may sound silly to some of you, it was a true addiction for me and I was powerless to get off of it on my own. but as 1 Corinthians 15:57 says:

"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

I know for a fact that I could not have done this without God and his answers to my prayers and all those that were praying for me, and everyone who knows me can vouch for that. I really do appreciate all the grea

t comments and encouragement through these last three weeks. Thank you all and I encourage you to see what you are capable of through Jesus if you only humble yourself enough to ask.

Day 21!!! Wisdom in raising Tate

Ok so its the last day!!!! I am going to write a longer blog about the differences I have seen in myself along with how else this fast has effected me tomorrow. Today, I will write on wisdom in raising Tate. As Chris wrote in his blog yesterday it is hard to not to just have him along for the ride, but he deserves just as much time as the other kids so here it goes.

Oh my little Taterman, I love that kid. I went to a women's retreat last night and for most of the day today and God had some really amazing things to reveal to me. It was a great way to end the fast. One of the things was putting the scripture together in raising our kids. I discussed in an earlier blog about Proverbs 22:6 which states:

Train up a child in the way he should go,And when he is old he will not depart from it.

We talked earlier how this means raising up the child in the way that God intended for that child to be. This can lead to the conclusion that if we raise a child up in the way that we think they should go (like making them play soccer when they really want to play piano, or trying to make them an extrovert when God has clearly made them an introvert, etc.), we are saying that our way is better than God's.   Therefore, his authority means nothing to us as we can't trust him to make our children in a the way that is best. When we try and raise our children up in the way that we think is best we exasperate them and then go against Ephesians 6:4:

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

If we don't trust God in making our child the way that he intended, then how can we teach them how much they are valued by us and God? And how can we raise them to be what God intended if we aren't using God's guidance in making decisions about how they are raised?

Now I have to be careful because people could easily take this out of context and can make excuses for not raising them up in the Lord. God's word does not contradict itself. Sinful nature is part of all of us, so we cannot make excuses for our children's sinful nature, saying that God made them like that. We have to take the way that God made our kids and use that for good.

For example, if you have a super aggressive kid with lots of energy, you will just exasperate them by asking them to sit still and then you will get mad when they are unable to do that, and then disobey your instructions or hurt other people. However, if you are able to see that God made them with a strong will and lots of energy, you can use that to his/her benefit by having them play a sport or exercising in order to take good care of their body. This can also be a tool that God uses to teach about self control and how He is able to help them in times that they are struggling. If you are constantly yelling and trying to make them into something that they are not, that is exasperating them and not raising them up in the way that they should go.

Sorry it's a lot today, but God really has showed me what he has made me for during this fast, and that is to teach children their immense value. I feel that in society today, children are not valued in the slightest, they are killed in utero if they are an inconvenience or if they are not the way that we want them to be, they are banned from restaurants for being who they are, they are seen as a burden and a nuisance in so many areas that it hurts my heart. Of course there are kids shooting each other at schools, they are not held in high regard or as a gift from God, and if that is how you think of yourself, where else do you go?

I know I kind of went on a rant and not everything I said will be popular with all the people who read it, but that is how I feel. Last day, and this has seriously been one of the best experiences of my life. I will type more on that tomorrow :)

Day 20 -Tate's Future Spouse and Purity

So, it's come down to this. 20 days down. I can't help but to think of the words of the great(est?) all-girl soft-rock trio of all time, "Don't you know things can change, Things'll go your way, If you hold on for one more day, YEAH!"(all you Wilson Phillips fans know you're singing along).

We have had a lot of struggles and a lot of victories over these past 20 days. It has been taxing physically, emotionally, and financially. But the rewards have been incredibly noticeable in our communication with each other, with our resolve and commitment, and in our individual and collective walks with God. We have a very busy time coming up in the next couple of months as all the kids and I are back in school, I get to attend many Accounting internship recruitment events, and we become more involved in the inner workings of Jackson's school. It is important that we continue to recognize and implement the lessons we have learned through these three weeks as we move forward together. And, as the guest blogger, I would like to thank all of the people who have read, liked, and commented on (digitally or in person) this blog during this time. Your support, encouragement, and prayers have been noticed and are much appreciated.

Now to talk about our little Mr. T. That kid is crazy. I love him, but he's crazy. I'm not sure if this is something Jonelle has been thinking, but over the past 4 days of praying for him, I just keep on finding myself needing reminders that he's not just an afterthought. That sounds really bad, having just spelled it out, but I want to remember to remember him as he gets bigger. I am finding myself worried that in the midst of the busy-ness of life and the already established happenings of the other siblings, that Tate's needs will be neglected or minimized. I doubt that Jonelle (the thoughtful, loving, and nurturing mother that she is) would let that happen, but this has been a good way to plant that into my head as being important to recognize moving forward.

So, concerning his spouse and purity, I think his prayer is similar to that of Jackson's. We want him to value the gifts of his innocence, purity, and intimacy as he grows up. We are praying that the wife God already has picked out for Tate will have those same values, and that the love they have will be the God focused foundation of a great marriage. And, my prayer for myself is that I will be an example of what this looks like for Tate to see.

And here are a few of my favorite pictures of the little man:

OK, the food is all the same, especially tonight, since Jonelle is at her retreat in Park City. Fruit for breakfast. Almonds, fruit, and chips and salsa for lunch. And a can of Amy's Lentil Vegetable soup for dinner. Good food, but I am ready to have some bread and cheese. For those that don't know, I have recently decided to be a non-strict, mostly vegetarian. It has become obvious (painfully so, at times) that I could not be a vegan. The block of cheddar has been calling my name for three weeks, and tonight's turkey and cheddar crepes I made for the kids were very hard to resist.

"Break free from the chains......."

Day 19-Tate's school and friends

Day 19-Tate's school and friends
Sooooo I feel a little silly about this subject today as this seems so far away to have to worry about it. But it is always worth future thought. So we prayed for Tate's future schooling and that he would have good friends. Tate does go to daycare in the mornings when Chris has school, and it is not always a pleasant experience. He often looks like this when we leave:

So we also said a prayer that drop off is a little easier this year.

So for dinner tonight Chris made this amazing salad. It was a watermelon spinach salad, but I can't for the life of me find the recipe. We skipped the raw spinach and had red leaf and romaine instead. It had lettuce, avocado, olive oil, fresh basil, watermelon and some salt. It was so good, I had three bowls.

Update on how I am feeling on the fast.....so the weather has looked like this:

And with my pressurized headaches it has not been good. I have had a migraine all day but was able to use some medicine to hold it off. However, despite that, I feel like I am on top of a mountain top with my relationship with God, Chris, our kids, and extended family members. Mostly God has used the Bible and other sources to really give me clarity to learn of who I am, why I react the way I do to certain situations and how to change some things to help me live the life that He has planned for me. It has been great to have that, and while I can't wait to eat some bread, I am going to miss the closeness in fellowship with God that I am experiencing right now. Tomorrow and Saturday is the perfect ending to this fast as I am going on a women's retreat with my church up in Park City. I am really excited to see what God has in store for me and I get to spend some quality time with some great friends, overall good times. So Chris will be guest blogging again tomorrow. See ya'll on Saturday for day 21!

Day 18- Tate's Health and Wellness

Day 18- Tate's Health and Wellness

So today is about Tate's health and wellness. Our little man did not start off in the world in the best way possible. I had pre-eclampsia when I was pregnant with him, and it got pretty sever by the 35th week. I was hospitalized and my blood pressure was not going down so they induced me at 36 weeks, which is only one week premature. They didn't think that it would be a big deal but when he was born I got to hold him for one minute and then he was having trouble breathing. We found out that his lungs weren't fully developed, they partially collapsed, and he was put on a ventilator. I unfortunately had to be put on magnesium since my kidney's had started to shut down and I was on strict bed rest for 24 hours. Ugh, that was the worst 24 hours ever. Luckily, our little man is a fighter and was out of the NICU in a week.

Luckily he has been blessed to have pretty good health since then. He did get RSV when he was 6 months but was able to recover quickly at home. So our prayer today is just that he continues to have good health, is active and takes good care of his body. I am just so thankful that he is even here because 50 years ago he wouldn't be, and now look at him:

So as for the fast.....we are ready to be done. We haven't really made meals in the last couple days, just going off of what we have around. Not really the way that I would have it, but Chris has been sick, so it is what it is. I'm not cooking, that's for sure. I actually do like to cook normally but having to find stuff around the kitchen is way too tempting. 3 more days....

Day 17-Tate's walk with God

Day 17- Tate's Walk with God

So I'm going to try and keep this short as Jackson starts school tomorrow and I am not ready. So today we are focusing on Tate and his walk with God. Soooo for some background, Tate just turned two last month. He is a fun loving kid, with a great arm. We chose his name because it means "He who brings happiness" and he totally lives up to his name. Even with the terrible two's rearing their ugly head around here, he makes me laugh so much every day.  He loves it when I sing "Jesus love me" and wants to hear it every night before her goes to sleep.  Here are some great pictures of him just because he is so dang cute.

And this is what we had for dinner as Jackson had soccer practice, I had a meeting, and Chris was sick

The Rico stuff is really good, no weird ingredients but expensive. This fast is killing my budget.

Day 16- Wisdom for Raising Lily

Day 16-Wisdom for Raising Lily

Well its the last Lily day, which means only five more days! We prayed for wisdom in raising her to be the little lady who God intended her to be, help her get stronger in her strengths and minimize the undesirable behavior. For example, Lily is stubborn; that in itself is not a bad thing, but our job is to help her use that for her benefit and to help others, not to just get in fights with others because she doesn't want to admit she is wrong. To learn from things that she can improve on and at the same time, stand up for what is right and not back down. This is true for her "time management." I am one of those people who like to be on time, I am a planner, and like to keep on schedule. Lily, not so much. She is more of a stop and smell the flowers type of girl. I love that about her, that she appreciates what is going on around her, can live in the moment, and not worry about what other people are thinking. However, it is also my job to teach her some responsibility and how to use this to help her and those around her. So we work with it, I know that Jackson can literally eat breakfast, brush his teeth and get dressed in 15 minutes.....Lily is more like 45 minutes, so she gets woken up earlier, allowing her to enjoy her morning but also be on time for school. So this is our prayer that we can appreciate who she is and the gifts that God has given her, but also help her grow up into a responsible adult.

Ok so things with my body on the fast seemed to have evened out.....not craving anything (even Diet Coke!), but am definitely looking forward to a real meal. For dinner we had Easy Breezy Mashed Cauliflower and the Tahini Cakes that we had the first week. It was pretty good, cauliflower could have used a little less garlic but otherwise, Chris really has rocked the cooking. I on the other hand have just given up. 

So that is Day 16, and since it is the last day of Lily, I am going to add a couple other pictures that I love because its my blog and I can do what I want.

Day 15 Lily's Purity and Future Spouse

Day 15~Lily's Purity and Future Spouse

Day 15....the last Sunday of this fast is over. We celebrated the last weekend of summer by taking the cousins and heading to Chuck e Cheese. The kids had a great time (me not so much, but that is what being a parent is about right? Self sacrifice and enjoying watching your kids be kids) and just enjoyed being kids, which leads me to the prayer topic of today....Lily's sexual purity and future spouse.

A couple months ago I read this great book called "How to keep the Little in your Little Girl" by Dannah Gresh. It talks a lot about the importance of the parental relationship and how that effects where your daughter seeks her affirmation from. This quote just really spoke it me and it comes from her research on sexual purity in teen girls:

"It turns out that across the board---more than any other factor---parent-child connectedness was the strongest risk reducer for teen sexual activity.....Parent-child connectedness can be defined as 'being closely bonded by common traditions and frequently occurring activities.' I think a good short definition would be 'intentional togetherness.'"

So this is what we are focusing on, to have a close enough relationship with our daughter that she does not feel like she has to get that physical attention from some one else. We are also focusing on modesty, as we want our daughter to respect her body and follow 1 Timothy 2:9-10 which says:

 "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."

This is not just what God's word says but I also saw this awesome talk on you tube:

Again, it just shows me that God is not trying to kill everyone's joy ride but loves us so much that he wants what is best for us, and that is what I want for Lily. For her to be confident in herself, in who she is in Christ, so that she is not relying on dressing provocatively or sleeping around in order to fill any voids.

Ok for food today, we went to sizzler and had 11$ a plate fruit salad. Sooooo yeah, about ready to be done. But the end is in sight, and writing this blog helps so much with keeping focused on why we are doing this and how important it is. My family means the world to me and this is such a small sacrifice in the big picture that is silly to give up over something so meaningful.

Day 14 Lily's School and Friendship's-

Day 14 Lily's School and Friendships-

Well Day 14 is almost done and today was so much easier. I followed my own tips from yesterday and didn't let myself get too hungry. Chris made sure we had enough food in the house, and I made sure to read my Bible and pray. So they actually work. We went to a wedding, and I was even able to avoid the temptation of a chocolate fountain. Take that!!!!

So today we are focusing and praying for Lily's school and friendships. Lily starts her first day of Kindergarten on August 28th. She is going to a different school than Jackson. After some unexpected turn of events, Lily got accepted into a program in the Salt Lake City school district called the Extended Learning Program, which is for kids who are gifted and talented. Now, Lily is one smart cookie, but in all honesty, the main reason we are having her go to this program is because it has all day Kindergarten. With me working full time and Chris in school there was just no possible way to do the half day kindergarten at Jackson's school. So we are heading into this school without knowing anyone, and just knowing the nuts and bolts. It's a little unnerving and that is one of the reason's that we chose to do the fast now - to surround her with fervent prayer as she enters this new phase. I am going to be a blubbering mess on her first day, but she is ready.

Wasn't it just yesterday that she looked like this?

Food was, in all honesty, not much today. There was a lot of snacking, a lot of fruit, and some Amy's burritos - not much to talk about, but we got through it.

I have had a lot of questions about this fast. I first heard about this fast from one of my friends that used to attend our church. She moved to Florida and did this fast. I asked her about it and she went vegan afterwards, lost a ton of weight and overall had an amazing experience with it from what I gather. Chris and I watched the documentary "Bully" a couple months ago and it really brought up a lot of concerns that we have had, especially with Jackson. In all honesty with my mind-set on things, I would be homeschooling our kids this year if I could, but it is just not in the cards. So we decided to do the next best thing, and cloak our kids and our whole family in prayer and fasting as we enter this new year.

In general, here is a list of reason's why christian's fast. We wanted a better prayer life and overall relationship with God, along with protection over our kids, and to develop self control in all areas. So to answer some questions: no, my church did not make me do it, no, I am not doing it mainly to lose weight, and yes, it sucks at times but, with God's help, I will finish.

Good night and good luck!

Day 13- Lily's Health and Wellness

Day 13- Lily's health and wellness

Well I have struggled today, learned some important lessons, and will carry on.

To start off I have a confession.....I had about 4 or 5 bites of Noodles & Co Mac and Cheese. Yep there is it. It wasn't even that good, but I was to my breaking point today. In order to help my self out for the rest of this and anyone else that is thinking about doing this here are tips I learned from today:

1. Prayer: Fasts are supposed to be a time for prayer. I went to bed late last night and then was late to work which lead to my whole day being thrown off. I didn't even know what we were focusing on today, and did not pray for it. Focusing on why you are doing this will totally help the sacrifices seem worth it, but when you are just depriving yourself of all the awesome goodness that is out there and not knowing why, it is hard to stay on track and keep on keeping on.

2. Keep your Pantries Stocked: So this is what lead to my downfall today to give you a play by play. I had my usual Amy's burrito at work, while my boss bought every one lunch, again. All I had had before that was an apple and almond butter. So I got home from work after resisting temptation and we had nothing that I could eat. And then we celebrated the last week of summer and got the kids take out. Chris made this brussle sprout pasta dish which was horrible (sorry dude), and then left for yoga. So I was home with the kids watching them eat yummyness, nothing else to eat in the house, horrible food for me to eat, and starving as i only had an apple and a burrito to eat all day. Don't put yourself in this position. In fact, don't ever put yourself in this position. Always have health snacks around and never let yourself get that hungry. I felt like Esau when he sold his birth right to Jakob for a bowl of stew (Genesis 25:29-34). Don't go down that road.

3. Have someone to do it with you: I told Chris about my macaroni fiasco right when he got home, telling him I was going to give up, that this wasn't worth it etc (refer to 1&2). He was able to have the peace of mind to tell me 3 reason's why I should continue on  this fast and then go out and go shopping and get me a fruit and veggie Jamba juice ASAP. He didn't let me give up but he wasn't condemning me for my bad choice either. I always have kind of scoffed at that saying on diets but it really is true, God made us to rely on each other and he often times works through other people to get his message across.

ok those are the three main things, prayer, don't get hungry and have an awesome husband who wont let you quit.

ok onto the prayer for the day....Lily's health. I was so consumed with self pity all day that I didn't get to focus on this, out of all my kids this is the one I need to focus it on. Lily is my sickness/accident prone kid. She broke her arm at 2, and has had numerous UTI's and had to go the ER multiple times for them, she also is always the one to get the stomach flu and other weird diseases like hand foot and mouth disease.  I breastfed her the longest out of any of them, but that is just the way God made her.....here are some cute pictures from what I am talking about..

Broken arm

this is her at the hospital after she got tubes in her ears

smacked her eye on the playground

UTI

UTI

Scraped knee

Thanks to daily antibiotics Lily's hasn't had a UTI in a while, but our prayer is that she would remain healthy and that she would not get too sick this year while she goes to kindergarten. I really do feel so blessed to have her in our family and hope that she can stay healthy. Prayers also that I can remember my own tips and not let myself get to the giving up place again.  Thanks ya'll!

Day 12- Lily's walk with God

Day 12-Lily's Walk with God

Day 12 is almost over and done with, that means that we are 57% of the way done. While I am not feeling the "I want to give up" issues that I had earlier, I am starting to just miss good food. Anyway....we are over the had part I think and getting into the routine. I do have to admit, I accidentally ate a potato chip today....confession - it wasn't that good. So God is working on my eating habits that might actually last longer than this fast, which is a huge victory for me.

Ok, onto the prayer for today, my little Lily Winter. Yes, she has a fairy name and I love it! Our boys, are mostly family names but with Lily I just went with what I loved and I just love her name and so does she. She is 5 years old and starts Kindergarten in a little less than two weeks. She loves art, loves to read, is a great sister, loves to be out side, to be fancy (she wears a skirt or dress almost every day), loves the Bible, loves to climb trees, rock climb, ballet and gymnastics. Here is a picture of her when she was a baby.....

These pictures are perfect examples of who Lily is - attitude, rocking whatever she wants to do, all while being fancy. So today we are praying for her walk with God. Lily loves learning about God and the Bible but she tends to be drawn towards more materialistic things, so we prayed today that there would be a good balance of her being in the world, but not of the world. So that is our prayer today. 

So we will go straight to dinner as everything else has lost its awesomeness. Chris made an awesome Curry Butternut Squash Coconut Soup We made it more of a curry and had it over brown rice, it was delish!

I also want to say thank you for all the support I have gotten. It really has meant a lot.  Onto day 13 :)

Day 11-Wisdom for Raising Jackson

Day 11- Wisdom for Raising Jackson

So I just wanted to share something that I read today that was like an answered prayer. Its from Daniel 10:12 and it says " "Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them."

This was exactly what I needed to read today. As I mentioned in my last post I have felt pretty discouraged and felt like this whole thing was all for nothing. However, the above was God's response to Daniel's 21 day fast that we are currently doing. He did not get any response before this and it was a great encouragement to know that I am following God. 

Ok, today we are praying for wisdom in raising Jackson. There is a verse in the Bible from Proverbs 22:6 which states "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." Unfortunately this has been misinterpreted by so many christians who raise their child up in a christian church but then their children turn away from God. They then believe that God has not fulfilled his promises. This could not be further from the truth. This statement is referring to the way that God has made our kids. The Hebrew in this case is referring to arrows. Every wooden arrow has a certain bend to them and if you can figure out that bend that you are able to shoot it straight. The same is true for our kids.

We need to raise our kids up to be the people that God intended them to be. Not what we want them to be. Yes, they should follow God's word. But God made each of us different with our own talents and if we raise up our kids to grow stronger in the assurance of the gifts that God has given them, they will take that with them the rest of their life. That is what the scripture is referring to and that is what we are praying for today. We are asking to really see who God has made Jackson to be and encourage him in that, without allowing our judgements about what he should be get in the way. 

As for the fast, I am still getting headaches but they are not nearly as bad as they have been so that was really nice. Also my blood pressure has dropped significantly to the point where I am going to lower my dosage of blood pressure medicine. That is great news and we are on our way. I truly have neglected the stewardship of my health and am so glad that I went on this fast purely for that reason. This has really helped me to wake up and see that I can eat healthy and have self control. 

Onto the food. Most of the day was the same old same old. However, we went out to dinner tonight to a place called Rawtopia. It had all organic homemade vegan food. Even the spices were homemade, and we got to meet Omar who is the owner and chef there. I don't know if I would eat there again but it was definitely an experience. Here is the menu:

please notice how everything is made with love :)

Chris got the Lebanese wrap

I ended up getting the coconut curry rice, which was very pretty and came with edible flowers

So it wasn't horrible, had some good flavors and Omar was very nice. However, I just couldn't get into it all the way, and now I have heart burn. So there you go, more than half way done!!!!

Day 10- Jackson's purity and future spouse

ok- I know that todays topic is not going to be popular. But this whole fast is about trusting in God and following Him, so here we go. I'm not going to lie to you all. I was ready to give up last night. I had another migraine, and just had not felt like I had seen any good come from this fast and that it was worthless and stupid. Then, I heard a sermon on the radio this morning about faith. Faith is believing that God will keep his promises, maybe not in the time frame I want them in, but he is faithful, I know that so I will continue. After a re-resolved to the fast and remembered that most of the stuff for this fast is for the future anyway, and that I am not going to see results for a while, I am ready to face the prayer of the day......Jackson's purity and for his future spouse.

Coincidentally there was this blog posted by Single Dad Laughing  about how he believes that everyone should live together before they get married to make sure that they are not just getting married to have sex. He is a former Mormon and has been divorced two times in the LDS church and now is moving into a house with his girl friend, who he finally feels like he knows and they are seeing if it will go to the next step without the pressure of waiting until they are married. I can relate. I used to think the exact same thing, in fact Chris and I lived together before we were married, and it obviously worked out well for us. However......that is not the path I wish I would have chosen and I don't agree that it is best for people to have sex before marriage.

In his blog  Single Dad referred a lot to his waiting to have sex because it was what was expected of him in the mormon church, that it would help him get "right with God", and in all honesty that was the way he was going to be able to have sex so that is what he did. If those are the reasons for waiting until marriage than I totally agree that it is not the right choice.

However, as a Christian, we know that no matter what acts you do it is not going to "get you right with God." It is accepting Jesus as your savior that gets you right with God and then the good works come from the gratitude from that free gift. So like this fast, I am not doing it as repentance for something wrong I have done, I have already been forgiven for that. I am doing it out of honor and obedience to God for protection and wisdom for my family. I also know that he has already been faithful to me and given me strength in this fast, because if any of you know me, you know I could not have done this on my own. I fail at every diet I try and self control is not a strong suit of mine.

So that is what I am praying for for Jackson today, that he will have that relationship with God where he wants to honor him with all he has and all his does, and that includes sex before marriage. God did not put that in the Bible to stifle us or to punish us. He asked us to wait for marriage because he loves us so much and he wanted us to be able to fully enjoy that in a marriage relationship, where you wont have to worry about getting STD's, or unwanted pregnancies, or even someone leaving you after you have given that part of yourself to them. He wants whats best for you, and it is not the easiest thing but it is how to fully enjoy the best things that he has planned for you.

Ok, that was a lot. And now you all know where I stand. Unfortunately my food was pretty boring today, oatmeal with blueberries and almond milk, Amy's burrito, and then the avocado spaghetti  that we have had before.  I did find these awesome gems at the store today.....

They are amazing and only have sweet  potatoes, sunflower seed oil, and sea salt. I think I ate half the bag already, but I really needed something that I could just snack on. yay! Thank you all for the support and thank you to Chris for writing the blog yesterday, he really is amazing. 

Day 9 - Jackson's School and Friends

Hi all,

This is Chris Edwards, guest-blogger for a day, filling in for an exhausted and headachy Jonelle. This is about five days in a row for Jonelle dealing with storm induced headaches. These migraines are really taking their toll on Jonelle, wearing her down and becoming quite discouraging. So, keep her in your prayers to give her some relief, support, and encouragement.

Anyway, for today, we are focussing our prayers on Jackson's school and friends for this coming year. He is going into the 3rd grade at the Open Classroom. We are very excited for him to be in Denise Mavor's class. She used to babysit Jonelle in the not too distant past, and is the aunt of one of Jonelle's best friends. She is one of the reasons we wanted Jackson to go to the OC in the first place. Jackson knows almost all of the kids in his class, and, for the most part, gets along well with them. We had a few issues last year and the year before with Jackson getting bullied (by one of the kids that's going to be in his class this year) or getting rough with other kids and not being able to ask for help from the teachers or parents. We know some of this is "boys being boys", but some of it is also the fact that he was the youngest in his class and Jackson's personality. He does tend to be a follower sometimes and doesn't always see getting hurt by others as a bad thing. He's also been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and has been going to therapy sessions for a couple months now, which has provided him with some good strategies to help cope with things.

Hopefully, with him being in Denise's class, with familiar friends that are more his age, and with the tools he has learned in his counseling sessions, he will have a very successful year.

Food today (sorry, no pictures or 1000 words) -
Because of the mad scramble of getting two kids ready for camp and out the door, I ate a deconstructed fruit salad for breakfast. For those of you who don't know fancy chef language, that means I ate a peach and a banana. I topped of this meal with some water.

Snack time was a handful of almonds, while chasing Tate around the Children's Museum. Oh, and some water.

Lunch with Tate, although not quite as yummy looking as the bagel and cream cheese Tate had, was a homemade trail mix of raisins, dried cranberries, and almonds, followed by some cherry tomatoes and a generous helping of water.

Afternoon snack consisted of sunflower seeds and some water that I spruced up with some homemade ice.

For dinner, I made "Mrs. Jones' Brown Rice Dinner." It was a latin inspired concoction of rice, veggies, beans,  and fresh salsa topped with avocado. We (Jonelle's idea) wrapped this up in some Daniel's Fast approved corn tortillas and ate them like weird tacos. In all honesty, it was a little on the ho-hum side of flavor, but was at least substantial. I had to pass on water, since we ran out of the water in our fridge, and the water snob in me can't possibly deal with tap.

I tried to make a "cookie" for dessert with oats, banana, applesauce and raisins, but one of those was enough for all of us.

And, so ends day 9. Here's to y'all for your love, support and prayers.
I'm out.

Day 8-Jackson's Health and Wellness

Day 8-Jackson's health and wellness.

Well today we are praying for Jackson's health and wellness. As I mentioned in the last post Jackson has not had the easiest past with this. When he was born he had horrible colic, reflux and constipation. He had his tonsils and adenoids out along with tubes in his ears when he was 2. He has had anxiety problems as of late and it just has not been an easy road for my little man. So we are praying for his anxiety to lesson and for him to live a full and healthy life as he gets older.

I took Jackson on a date today to go see Percy Jackson. We have been reading the first book and thought it would be fun. I really believe that it is so important to date your kids. We haven't been doing it as much as we would like this summer with everyone out of school, but really spending that one on one time with your kids, knowing who they are individually and being able to have those conversations  about what they are thinking and struggling with, without a siblings interfering is priceless. Just on the way to the movies in the car we were able to talk about David and Saul and about alcohol and his thoughts on it and he was able to ask my my stance on it. There was no pressure and it wasn't one of those forced conversations, it was just what he wanted to talked about and it was awesome. But that conversation would only have happened with us alone. Being able to really have that time is the only way I can see to appreciate who God made my children to be and to be able to "raise them up in the way they should go."

I have to admit, these headaches are killing me. Today I was fine in church and then grocery shopping it started to kick in, took a nap and it seemed to go away for a little bit but by the time the movie was over it was back full force. It seems like a combination headache/migraine, and I was so sure that they would be gone by now that it is truly testing my will power in this. Diet Cokes always helped my headaches and I am so tired of being in pain. So we are praying for them to go away. I have been taking medicine during this fast since I do get migraines, along with some other medications that I cannot stop taking. I feel it is important to follow God's conviction on this. Chris has not taken any medication as that was his conviction  during this process. So if any of you decide to do this, just pray about what God wants you to do, and of course follow medical advice.

Onto the food for today.......

breakfast smoothie with spinach, frozen banana, natural peanut butter and almond milk. Delish!

Lunch was an Amy's bean and rice burrito with fresh pico de gallo, also good but next time I will have some avocado with it. 

For dinner we had Wild Rice Tahini Cakes which were amazing!!!!!!!!! so good. We will have this again even after the fast, Chris did a great job with these.

So that is today, if you could pray for my headaches to go away, at least with medicine that would be greatly appreciated. 

Day 7 Jackson and His Walk with God

Day 7 Jackson and his Walk with God

So from here on out we will be focusing on our three kids. Five days for each of them focusing on a different part of them each day. So today we are starting with my oldest son Jackson. Here is picture of him when he was little and one now just because I love him and he is adorable.

Isn't he cute? He is two in the picture

And 7 in this picture

Jackson is a great kid who will be eight next month, starting the third grade at a charter school with lots of parent involvement. He is our most challenging child. I think every family has one. He had a hard first year of life with colic, reflux and constipation.  He has always been super smart, started reading at four and skipped Kindergarten. But with that comes with a lot of challenges. He has a lot of anxiety and likes to have control over everything, which just is not possible. He has so many great traits as well - he loves the Bible, he loves God, he can remember everything, he is caring, like to makes friends, is super honest, curious, a great soccer player, likes to be active, and is starting to try more and more good things. So our prayer for him is to always have this love for honesty, integrity, and God and to make lots of good choices.

I have to say it is hard to let your kids experience natural consequences, but I have found the less I step in and yell and tell them what they are doing wrong, and let the natural consequences of their choices effect them, the more they learn to make the good choices next time. So there was also prayer to have the patience and ability to let those happen and not step in was there as well.

Ok now for physically how I am doing. Chris is feeling great, doing really well, all his headaches are gone. Unfortunately I am not feeling as well as I had hoped physically. I am sure it is due to the storms that wont seem to leave, but I continue to have headaches and migraines. I was really hoping that my migraines were due to all the crap I was eating, but it doesn't appear that way...:( However, my skin is clearer, I have lost a couple pounds, and I am not getting that tired and can't function thing anymore. I would say the biggest improvement has been my sleep. I usually have to take some type of sleep aid 3-4 times a week or more. This past week when I have been on the fast I haven't had to take them once. Slept through the night and pass out almost immediately when my head hits the pillow. I also have noticed that anxiety that I used to be feeling has almost gone and when it is there it is completely manageable. So, while there are lots of good things, I just wish these headaches would go away.

Onto the food:

breakfast was fruit. I am really surprised how much more I am liking fruit these days. 

This is an Amy's brand bean and rice burrito. I had to work some today to make up for all the time I took off work this week to deal with my headaches. so there it is. 

This is an Amy's brand Spanish rice and beans soup. I am really amazed at how awesome her ingredients are and it has made it easy to stay on the fast but not have to cook every night. Chris made these amazing Broiled Polenta Square to go with the soup.

So that was our day. One week down! I made up our menu for next week and it will be better I promise. I found some cookies that I am super excited about! Thanks for the support and prayers. feel free to comment!